(Butt) Sex Talk

I found a pretty popular book at Goodwill the other day for 25 cents. Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask), explained by David Reuben, M.D.  Oh, and it was written back in 1969, so take that into account when I show you these excerpts from the book...

On the topic of male homosexuality:

What is male homosexuality?  Male homosexuality is a condition in which men have a driving emotional and sexual interest in other men.  Because of the anatomical and physiological limitations involved, there are some formidable obstacles to overcome.  Most homosexuals look upon this as a challenge and approach it with ingenuity and boundless energy.  In the process they often transform themselves into part-time women.  They don women's clothes, wear makeup, adopt feminine mannerisms, and occasionally even try to rearrange their bodies along feminine lines.

Look guys, it's true.  I (we) often transform into a part-time woman.  And I have to stuff since my breasts haven't dropped yet.  Haha, this guy is seeming a little silly.  Let's continue, shall we?

Surely there must be more to homosexuality?  There are dozens of variations but they all have this in common: the primary interest is the penis, not the person.  A homosexual may have as many as five sexual experiences in one evening - all with different partners.  He rarely knows their names - he is unlikely to see any of them again.  Besides, few homosexuals use their real names.  They generally go by aliases, choosing first names with a sexual connotation.  Harry, Dick, Peter, are the most favored.

Oh wow, he just hit the nail on the head.  I mean, I'm *certainly* not interested having a relationship with an actual human being.  Nope, I'm looking for a dim, brainless, hulk of a man that has a horse penis that never deflates.  And when I find that man, I'll be sure to use my fake gay name: Gaylord Seaman.

What about all the homosexuals who live together happily for years?  What about them?  They are mighty rare birds among the homosexual flock.  Moreover, the "happy" part remains to be seen.  The bitterest argument between husband and wife is a passionate love sonnet by comparison with a dialogue between a butch and his queen.  Live together?  Yes.  Happily?  Hardly.

Them be some mighty big fightin' words.  It doesn't even go on to explain that segment.  Instead, it simply dooms me to a wretched, bitter, loveless relationship (I care only about the penis, however, so it won't be *too* bad...).  And what about those gender role stereotypes?  Which am I, a butch or a queen?  I'd like to see myself more like Dr. David Reuben sees me: a dangerous, sexually-charged, superficial being with a love for sexually transmitted diseases and women's clothing.