Thursday, July 03, 2008

I'm serious when I say "literally", by the way

Jared and I have found a new friend. It's a good thing, too - my roomies are camping for the second consecutive weekend and have left us to our own devices here at the apartment. The last time they left? The house smelled like reefer and spilt Pabst, and I think we might have eaten all the cereal...

Phidippus audax, aka the Bold Jumper Spider, is a beastly spider species that literally scares the shit out of me. I'm outside smoking a cigarette with J-Snoochie and Ryan when we find Larry sitting atop the handlebars of Mikey's bike. Larry is, of course, the name we gave it, and he's currently hanging out in a glass jar that we've outfitted with leaves, a stick or two, and a nice handful of grass*.

From the way I see, the little guy is prolly in paradise right now, with his makeshift luxury suite that's big enough for the whole family, enjoying himself IMMENSELY as the floppy fro and bushy beard of Jared pops in and out of view every few seconds. And since it's a jumping spider, we put a lid on the jar - BUT DON'T WORRY, animal lovers - we've made a couple of holes in the lid so Larry can get himself some oxygen action.

Anyway, Larry is beginning to make himself at home, and Jared and I are enjoying his company. I couldn't help but take a moment and think about the future, when Larry's gotten bigger and I've the wisdom of many years behind my old, frumpy body. Jared will have aged as well (but at three-times the rate of a normal person, due to a freak laboratory accident thirteen years from now), and we'll only hope that Larry remembers how kindly we treated him, and how often we gave him fresh foilage to play in, and how many times Jared softly sang to him as he fell asleep in his glass cage of emotion.

Oh, and remember how I said I met a guy named Leaf the other day? This morning, a guy with a cat in a harness walks up and asks if we have some change. I didn't (I did, but I didn't - you feel me?) but he gave us a smile and a handshake anyway. His name was Cloud, and his cat Cloudy.

Eugene is definitely a hippie town. I'm changing my name to either Willow or Moon Beam by the end of the week.



* Fuck grass.  Allergies are a bitch.

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